The O.C.D. Sloth

This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalms 118:24 

At dinner one night (a while ago) my youngest asked, “What is O.C.D.?”  My husband pointed to me and quickly looked away. The other two children said, “Oh, yes, that makes sense.”  In my defense, I said “Yes, I like things a certain way, put in the right place, cleaned up at night, beds made, and everything spit spot- but that just keeps things from turning into chaos!”  That does not make me O.C.D. – I mean, after all, I can function in chaos… but can I really????

Well, this chemo thing has really put that to the test.  You see, my brain is working at close to regular speed, but most days my body has not received the memo to move yet.  The other morning, I was pushing the dining room chairs back into place and my son said, “It must be tough to have OCD but move like a sloth.”   Now, mind you, he just sat there and watched me slowly move the chairs – not offering to help – but he had a valid point.  That was exactly how I felt.  My brain did not like that the chairs were out of place, but my body could not quickly react to the command.  

I think all this self-distancing is turning us all into social sloths.  We crave outside connections but are somewhat happy to stay in pajamas and talk on the phone.  Fortunately for me, I bought some nice pajamas prior to treatment so I can at least match as I spend the day in them.   I do make the children get dressed every day.  We go on walks around our neighborhood and see people on conference calls in pajamas and whatever.  I was even in the front yard in a very unflattering outfit picking up sticks.  I had no idea how bad It was until I came inside and looked in the mirror.  But let’s face it why even look in the mirror when no one is seeing you all day.

Our family, like most everyone, has discovered Zoom meetings.  The kids have had youth game night, Sunday school, school meetings, and even piano lessons using Zoom.  It is so fun to see people – I get giddy when someone new comes onto the screen.  We have had the TV on more in the background than ever, if just for some outside noise.  

The first few days of social distancing and staying home I thought “Let’s just enjoy this time together and not worry about structure.”  That lasted until Sunday and I was afraid we would have a mutiny on our hands.  So, Monday morning we set up a daily schedule.  Everyone is up, dressed and had breakfast by 9:00.  (I know – dream small).  They do schoolwork according to a schedule until 12:30. Then lunch and free time.  

The kids thought this was great the first week because I was so exhausted from chemo. Their schooling consisted of them mostly finding Bill Neigh videos for Science and School House Rock for History.   This week has looked very different because I feel mostly like myself.   Also, when I am stuck at home I clean – so that means they clean.  Honestly, the kids have been great.  The highlight of every day is taking me on a walk.  

Not much inspiring over here to pass along.  Like most we are making the best of the situation and spending family time together.  Our schools are out for the rest of the year, quite the blow for our Senior and 6^th grader.  Big events for both of them are on hold.  So, we just focus on the positive and think of alternative ways to celebrate.  We live close to DC, so we took her prom dress downtown and took a few photos, giving her at least one chance to wear her dress.

We were also able to get down to the Cherry Blossoms and get some family pictures taken.   This is a huge praise.  Another reminder that God is watching over us in all things.  Before my treatment started, I mentioned to my husband, “We should take a family picture before I lose my hair and our daughter goes off to college.”  At church the following Sunday a friend who does photography as a side job/ hobby offered to take our picture free of charge.  Wow!  Unfortunately, his wife was possibly exposed to the coronavirus, so they had to self-isolate.  Not a problem – we could do them later… except that the clock is ticking on my hair falling out.    

So, I reached out to another friend who is an amazing photographer.  She is usually booked solid at this time or year but was not taking any pictures.  She agreed to meet us downtown and snapped some gorgeous pictures.  A beautiful reminder that God is in control.  Not only did I have the energy to make it to the shoot (lots of prayer went into that), but the weather was overcast so not many people meant social distancing was easy.  Here is our favorite.

We hope you and family are well.  We continue to pray for you all and that you stay safe during this crazy time.

Specific Prayer requests 

That the cancer cells continue to shrink.  That round #2 of Chemo (Tuesday March 31) stays on schedule and is smooth.  Since no one will be able to go into treatment to sit with me, prayers that I am calm and relaxed by myself.

Have a great weekend!