Here We Go Again…

I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Chris Jesus

Philippians 1:6

How is everyone doing?  We are good over here – in some ways having chemo every other week helps break up the monotony of this quarantine.   I have one bad week – the week of chemo –  followed by a fairly normal week.  On the good weeks, life is normal and we have a routine, including projects and catching up on life.  On the bad weeks, the family follows me around when I am up as if I might fall over at any moment.  

I am so grateful that I have not thrown up at all, and the prescribed nausea medicine keeps my stomach stable.  Eating on the bad weeks is difficult – mealtime is centered around cheering me on as I try to finish a small portion or a cup of soup.  For those who have brought us meals, the family is even more grateful than I am.  Not only have they been AMAZING, but if I was left to do the meal planning, they would be eating eggs and potatoes – the only two things that seem to taste good to me.  Chris and our daughter have had fun cooking on the other nights.  Like all of us during quarantine, our oven is getting a lot of use. 

Having the family home definitely helps pass the time on the bad days.  I lay on the sofa and listen to them talking via Zoom with friends, the boys making trick shots outside, the family playing hearts and fade in and out as they watch TV.  I try on the bad days to remember that I am lucky because my bad days will pass, and I will feel good again.  

Now, maybe I am able to say this because on Tuesday I will have round of #4 of 4!  Unfortunately, this is not the end of chemo for me.  On Thursday this week we will have an appointment with the surgeon who will do a sonogram to see how much the cancer has shrunk.  Depending on the outcome, the oncologist and surgeon will set my next treatment plan.  It will either be 12 rounds of a different chemo on a weekly basis, or 4 to 6 rounds of yet another chemo every other week for 8-12 weeks.  Hopefully all treatment pre-surgery will be complete by the end of July.

I was telling my husband that I think face masks are going to be the new accessory for the foreseeable future.  Fortunately, I have a friend who made us some adorable masks.  Another kind friend gave me an N95 mask to wear when I go to the hospital.  Let me just say those N95 masks are so hot and heavy.  At my last chemo, I was wearing it and as the nurse was administering the nausea medicine I said, “I feel nauseous.”  She informed me that the chemo hadn’t even started yet, so it must be something else.  I removed the mask and put on a disposable one and quickly felt much better.  

THANK YOU to all the medical personal who are not only on the front lines of this and coming into work every day.  Thank you for dealing with the patients with love and care while wearing the masks and all the equipment.  You are all amazing and are true heroes!  

In other news, did you know that today – Sunday, April 26, us Virginians are halfway to the end of quarantine – if the June 10^th date holds up.  We have been in quarantine for 6 weeks!  Maybe this is not great news, but it means you just need to do what you have been doing for the past 6 weeks one more time.  I know 6 weeks seems so daunting, and even after that date it is not like life will return to normal, right? I mean, how can it?

So, what can we do for the next 6 weeks?  Well, I keep seeing that having a routine is key.  We keep a routine during the week and treat Saturday as a normal Saturday and sleep in, eat breakfast late, spend the morning being unproductive.  On Sunday we have Zoom Bible Fellowship and watch our church worship service, pick up lunch – trying to make it like a “normal” Sunday.  Did I mention walks?  LOTS of walks.  My kids have said when they reflect back on the COVID-19 they will remember that we walked a lot.  I love our walks!  We usually walk 4 miles – thank you to the people who are changing up their landscaping or putting new things out in the yard – we see you!  

I don’t love to read – but – I have been reading because I have time (lots of time…).  My sister gave me a book called Suffer Strong by Katherine & Jay Wolf (link to Amazon page here).  I have been reading and enjoying it tremendously.  Katherine suffered a massive life altering stroke at as a young adult.  The book focuses on their adjustment to a new life with all it’s challenges.  In the book, Jay says, “While suffering strong can be disorienting and painful at first, it’s a journey that promises greater purpose, hope, and joy.”  What a great perspective!  Jay and Katherine have learned to find joy in the “new normal” they have to live every day. 

This quarantine is our “new normal” and we can focus on the pain of this situation, or we can view it as a journey that promises joy!  I get caught up in all the “lasts” we are missing out on with our Senior daughter. Our last family Spring break trip.  Her last track meet, Senior night for track, last band concert, last church choir concert, last day of school, etc.  When I do, I remind myself that we are getting something even better – time with her. 

She usually left the house at 7:30 each morning, and was home around 6:00, as long as there were no evening activities.  Now, she is home every day with us at every meal.  We talk as we go on walks and have wonderful discussions that otherwise would have been missed.   What a gift that is.  Before the quarantine we all were so busy it was hard to find time for family.  Now we have been given the gift of time and family, so take a breath and focus on enjoying this unique time.  On that same note, I tell my kids daily how glad I am they are NOT preschoolers.  If you have preschoolers, all I can say is… be in prayer for God to give you strength.

Wake up tomorrow and start the week by thanking God for the opportunity to spend time with the gift He has given you.  Yes, I mean your family – they are a gift that God chose just for YOU, and how wonderful it is that you get to spend the next 6 weeks with just them.  

Specific prayer requests for me:

For the chemo on Tuesday at 11:00 am – calm for me as I do it alone again.  That nausea and fatigue will be manageable for the 6 days after chemo.  That the appointment on Thursday reveals cancer has shrunk and the Dr. selects the best course of treatment for my next course of chemo.  

Have a great week! We miss you all!