Anxiety and Prayer

Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

We had great news at the Doctor last Friday.  The sonogram showed that the cancer has shrunk- so all this awful chemo is working!  Praise the Lord!  On Tuesday at 9:30 I will begin 12 rounds of chemo – 1 time every week.  Let me tell you, although I knew it was coming, I really wanted the sonogram to reveal that the cancer was gone, and they could do surgery immediately!  

Unfortunately, that is not the way it works with my treatment and shrinking cancer is great news!  So, 12 weeks of chemo it is.   To say I am dreading 12 more weeks of chemo would be an understatement.   My doctor said I tolerated the first cycle so well that is why they are moving onto once a week for 12 weeks.  My definition of tolerated is different than theirs, but they are right, I survived!  I am several pounds lighter and have less hair, am tired some days, but I survived.  Please pray that I will get an appetite and want to eat.  Also pray that the side effects of this will be minimal.

I don’t know about you all, but I have been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety lately.  Starting new chemo is not helping me relax.   These are unprecedented times.  During my daily talks with God I told him that I was only supposed to have to deal with cancer, not a whole pandemic.  He reminded me that He is with me no matter what I am going through and He never promised me only cancer or only a pandemic or only one thing at a time.   He promised me He would sustain me though whatever I cast upon him.  1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” Other versions say and He will sustain you.  God wants us to bring all of our cares to Him because He cares for us so much that He will hold us while we deal with all that is going on.  We need to be pouring out in prayer our anxieties all day every day so that He can sustain us.  It is not a one-time thing, so I spend a lot of time in prayer for my fears lately.  

Did you know that the Bible specifically addresses anxiety?  Read Matthew 6:25-34 – especially verse 34, “Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own. “- Amen to that!  

My daughter was asking me, “Why do you keep talking about what will the Summer look like?  How can they possibly open things back up?  When will life ever be back to normal?“

I told her because as humans we want to know what the future holds – we are impatient creatures who like to have control.  The bottom line is we are not in control, so cast your anxiety on God and worry about today only.  Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided to you.”

 I am spending a lot of time in prayer and scripture lately.  We have spent the week in prayer over a friend’s 16-year-old son who is fighting COVID-19 in the CICU at the hospital.  He is in the fight of his life.  God is answering the prayers of so many for Matthew and while he is showing improvement, he is not out of the woods by far. 

His 14-year-old brother, Timothy, was admitted on Saturday and is also in the fight of his life in the CICU.  He needs a miracle.   He is immune compromised, and they are working with all medicine and skills they know to fight this.  It all seems like too much for one family to deal with.  But the parents are finding hope and peace in God.  I found myself growing weary of praying.   It has been so overwhelming to just pray continually for this family.  And as I pray Satan does a great job of creating anxiety in my mind and making me grow weary of prayer.   But prayer is a privilege, God is at work, and we are to pray without ceasing. 

Ok, on to happier things.  I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day celebrating your mom (or being celebrated).  We had a wonderful day!  Lunch with gifts the kids picked out online. We took a long walk in the woods, and visited with the other Mothers in our lives – my mom with a social distance driveway visit and my two mother-in-laws via FaceTime.

I have adjusted to our living room worship experience.  Although I miss my church family terribly, our family is enjoying the intimacy of worship our church has created.  This Sunday was particularly special because my family had the opportunity to lead in worship with the song King of My Heart.  

We sang, “Let the King of my heart be the wind inside my sails.  The anchor in the waves.”  This song reminds us that God is our all!  He is what we cling to in the waves and what powers us to move forward.  The song ends with “You’re never gonna let me down.”  God will never let us down as long as we allow Him to be our anchor that keeps us steady even when the waves are crashing down.  Here is a video of us singing if you want to hear it.  

I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and pray for me and my family. 

Specific prayer requests:

Round #1 of #12 Tuesday at 9:30 am.  Pray that I will have no allergic reactions and minimal side effects.   That the cancer will completely go away with these treatments and my body will respond well to the two new chemo drugs.  That I will regain an appetite and have minimal fatigue.  For Matthew and Timothy fighting COVID – health and comfort for them and their family.

I hope you all have another wonderful week.   The sun is coming out and we are getting warmer temperatures at the end of the week.  So, yard work is in our plans for the weekend!