Hallelujah Even Here

“Grief is exhausting”. My daughter said on Thursday night.  She is so right.  We had just finished a prayer walk at our local hospital for our friend and beloved Minister of Music, Roger McGee.  He is in the ICU and things are not progressing as well as had hoped.  We just received an update from the family that we should all prepare for the worst.    

Our church celebrates Maundy Thursday with a beautiful music-filled service with communion and readings that reflect on the night of the Last Supper and the pending crucifixion of Jesus.  This year, Roger was not there to lead the choir in this night of worship.  He was in the hospital.  Our choir, musicians, and pastors did a wonderful job of filling in, but there was an overtone of sadness to this already somber service.  For the first time, I felt a small bit of what it must have been like for Jesus’ disciples.  They were enjoying one final night with Jesus, but there must have been such a sadness in the room.  I now imagine they must have felt so alone, so lost, and so very sad.  I am sure they thought this can’t be happening.  This can’t be right.  God will save his son… this truly is not the end.  

On Good Friday this year I spent many times during the day praying for Roger and wondering how the Easter Service could be a joyful celebration of Jesus’ Resurrection without Roger at the helm leading us with his abundant Joy.  Again, I thought of the disciples.  I am sure they thought, “how can we go on telling others about God without our leader?”  Not only were they losing a friend, but they were also losing their teacher, the man who had taught them how to worship and glorify God.  I imagined how overwhelmed they must have been at the idea of carrying on the message of hope as Jesus wanted them to.   

I have been listening to the song Hallelujah Even Here by Lydia Laird.  And this is what I am feeling and how the disciples must have been feeling:

“Right now I feel a little overwhelmed
Right now I could really use some help
Right now I don’t feel like it is well with my soul
I’ve tried to find a way around the mess
I’ve prayed in faith that the night would end
Right here when I just can’t understand….”

 I believe Jesus would want us to say this, and so would Roger

“I’ll lift my hands
Hallelujah, when the storm is relentless
Hallelujah, when the battle is endless
In the middle of the in between
In the middle of the questioning
Over every worry, every fear
Hallelujah, even here”

On Sunday, Dr. Bryan Jones gave a wonderful sermon about hope – saying, “Don’t put a period where God intended a comma.”  Yes, Jesus died on Good Friday, only to rise on Easter Sunday.  As Christians we have the hope of an eternal life.  So, whether Roger is healed or not, we know one day we will see him again in heaven.  

Easter Sunday was a glorious day of worship.  It was so very sad and joyful at the same time.  The service ended with the Hallelujah chorus. The choir had not done this song for many years in our sanctuary due to renovations and no large Christmas performances recently. It was so beautiful – but so sad because we all so wanted Roger to be the one conducting.  It was a beautiful reminder that no matter what happens in life, Jesus was born as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He shall reign for Ever and Ever!

Please continue to pray for a miracle for Roger ,and for peace, strength, comfort, and wisdom for his children.  Roger says, “Sunday is the best day of the week.”  So, this Sunday take the time to go to church and remember it truly is the best day of the week because we get to spend a whole morning worshiping and glorifying God.  

Sunday is still coming, and it will be glorious.